BLACK IN THE BALTICS: THE FILM

This is a film by Team Chestnut.  I can tell you the story behind it right quick:

Ok so the first film I was a part of making in Estonia was not the best, I mean our hearts were in the right place but it just didn't turn out the way it should have.  Needless to say I needed a change of group/scenery and when I changed the scenery to some people that cared a little more about what was going on this was the result.  Ok so I got into this group with a Canadian an Estonian and a Latvian (Latvians are always less deeper than they think) and we are tossing around ideas for a short film, when everybody in the group is an "artist" you might as well make a mockumentary, I was pondering the idea in my head for it to be about a black rapper, but for whatever reason me and the Canadian were on the same page, so he blurts it out and I'm like I was thinking the same shit but if I said it, it might have gotten a WTF from the others -- but thats the point of film school to learn - say things that might be off track or far away from what others are thinking - keep it fresh thats what you are there for everything is not gonna be perfect that store is not gonna have what you want sometimes so move on to something else adjust make a brash decision or you might as well go home and do the same thing you were doing before.

After the Canadian made the suggestion we ran with it and told the class what the plan was with little to no preparation it all just fell into place.  That's how it goes; sometimes it just goes your way and you roll with it, the key is to know when to roll with it and when to bail, so many times we come to points where the we can take a left or take a right but sometimes its just best to go straight until the road runs out.

Enjoy and maybe I can make it over there to finish the trilogy...

Out with a bang!

So the semester ended and I did better this semester than last. Especially in the advanced camera work. The professor picked our film as one of the best 3 in the class. It was an honor because he was riding my ass the whole school year like nobody's business. Sure the story was a bit of a cliché and simple, but we worked our asses off on it and got the result we wanted. I wanted to make something that showed people that I know what the fuck I'm doing, and something people could watch and understand not some deep student film that only I could understand or would take people all day to get. I kept it simple but it worked. My DOP was amazing a lot of people counted us out but we came through like I knew we could. There were some amazing productions as well. They inspired me to do more. More planning more complex story lines. Now that I see what a team of people can do, I need to channel my ideas into more elaborate and thought provoking ideas which I am totally capable of doing. I want to thank my classmates for instilling a sense of pride in our projects and hope to do big things with most of them in the future. It's only the end of the first year and our class seems to be on the right track. We will keep this up so it's only right that we stay on top of our game.


On another note the weather seems to have finally broken and you can actually go places with no jacket! It's about time. The thing is we will have a great week and then a shitty few days. There is no point in listening to what the weather will be like because it will change in a few hours or it will be completely different from whatever was reported. Your best bet is to look out the window and see what it looks like before heading out the door. I can't complain about the female attire these days either and that's all I will say.


I started hanging with some black dudes from back home. They cool as shit. We been going to clubs(free)and just chilling. Found one dude owning a place called WING STOPP shit is amazing no let down here. I was getting wings in Tallinn and just being disappointed everywhere I went. I googled this place and it turns out the place was right around the corner from my dorm. I been going there faithfully ever since. So if you are ever in Tallinn check it out.


This place has grown on me 4 sure but it's about that time to get home so I can work and pay for this shit too. The first year is the toughest but I got through it. And that was my main goal. Just get through it and stay focused on why I came here who cares if people still stare at me on the bus and who cares if you hear a racial slur. My new thing is if it doesn't apply then it doesn't fly and keep it moving. I got about 2 weeks left to enjoy what Tallinn has to offer, and hopefully it will make me want to come back that much more. Next semester should be great and the semester after that will be insane if all goes well. I need to brush up on my Portuguese skills and see if I can actually learn something useful for living in Porto while I am at it.



Hopefully next semester I can move into a flat or something. This dorm shit is expensive and I am beginning to really question if it's worth it. Either way I will have to live somewhere with a good location. The new school should be open and that will be a boost not having to go to Mustamae every morning. I could cut my transport cost as well. Maybe its just wishful thinking but at least it's thinking at all.


People always ask what's the first thing you are going to do when you get home? I'm gonna go for a walk thru Manhattan and enjoy the sights sounds and food that I've been missing. Absorb the atmosphere and take it all in. The pizza place on 96th&3rd will do me just right. Everyone in NYC has their pizza joint and I swear by that one. After I enjoy NYC for a few days I'll probably swing it down to MD. I love NYC but I haven't heard about an internship and I really can't afford to waste time looking for work in tv and film when I could be stacking some bread to pay for this dream that I am living. So I love NY but MD is where the money is for me. So its only right that I do what I have to do in order to do what I want to do.

No sign of spring.

Yeah it's been a minute I took a little excursion to Amsterdam. I was in need of some diversity in my life. A good time was had by all. Of course everyone is like did you go to a Coffee Shop? In my mind I'm like yeah of
Course I did you idiot! I haven't really been to a place like that well this was the first time I went without a girl friend in Amsterdam which was the best because I could actually enjoy the scenery and with all the extra curricular activities that take place there was no one was looking at me like I had a problem... The closest I think I have seen to Amsterdam in the cities I have been to is Copenhagen the similarities are striking like riding bikes and the small size of the city. Amsterdam has Copenhagen beat when it comes to the weather and the women. I saw some of the most attractive chicks I've ever seen and I've been a few places. Here in Tallinn everybody's blonde well of
Course not everybody but more than anything I see blonde out here all the varieties whatever you wanna call it dirty blonde platinum blonde blah blah blah. It was nice to see all shades and colors of beautiful women in general.


I got back to Tallinn from Amsterdam and as soon as I got off the plane it was cold and rainy and the stares started right where they left off. In Amsterdam it felt good because I just blended in there here in Tallinn not so much. I don't mind the stares at this point it's nothing new the thing that kinda irks me is when girls are with their man and just stare you down like they want to leave their boyfriend or some shit. I just smile and keep it moving. Besides I think that shit might draw some serious hatred if and when I do hook up with some Estonian girl at some point. Guys seem pretty protective I should say about their girls, but it never stopped me before so I don't think it will this time around either. It's like Easter weekend or some shit, I don't really know anything about it alls I know is one of the last times I went to church was Easter and I was dating a religious girl, I never figured out why I dated so many religious girls back home, but anyway there was a play about Jesus bringing Lazarus back from the dead so that's what I thought Easter was about actually it's about Jesus being resurrected or some shit like that. No disrespect but if you've been reading this blog you know I'm not religious.


It's April here and it's fucking snowing! Real classy was hoping for spring to show up but at this point I don't see it on the radar, yeah the sun shines and all that but c'mon(Erasmus Voice) its like 4 degrees out this bitch there's nothing spring about it.


On a high note I did get into the Erasmus program and I will be going somewhere much warmer than here. I don't want to give too many details only if someone asks do I tell them where I will be going no need for any extra attention, I'm just glad I am getting to go somewhere else and still be able to study what I love.


As far as movies go I been going to a bunch lately it seems like all I'm seeing is CIA movies and they are pretty entertaining then you just see a bad one like "the cold light of day" or some shit filled with cliches and bad car chases and typical double crosses here and there, I like a good CIA movie just as much as the next person but it has to be done good. Not too much of this or that and enough of the McGuffin we get the point. It seems that they are making them set in Europe and I guess that's why the euros love them so much. I try not to read the critics back home cuz half the time they don't know what the hell they are talking about except for a few. A friend if mine back home always would say Rotten Tomatoes gave the movie a good rating but I refuse to let a website determine whether or not I will see a movie, let me decide for myself.


Been having a lil trouble sleeping lately gotta figure that out. And get back on track. I'm in need of some R&R. I been going to this trivia night on Thursday and Ive bee winning we have a team with 6 peeps If you win not only do you win a free round of drinks but you win the pot as well. We had an awesome team last week, there was an American girl there she was very smart like book wise a Brasilia a few Frenchies and a spanish. We all came thru at some point and we won by like 5 points or something. When I showed up on the team I noticed a look of doubt on some of the teams face but I had played with Mr. French before and won with him too so he knew I was good for a few Ms America took care of the loose ends very well. Yeah I'll be back next week for sure. Hopefully I cam redeem myself for mistaking michael mann for Michael bay. That one was really annoying. Hopefully we can keep the streak alive and win again but you never know.

Until next time. Have a good spring and who knows maybe it'll decide to show up here in Estonia too.

Spring Break

Well spring is in the air even if it is 35 degrees. Go figure. I am settling in nicely to this new dorm. Its pretty cool. Theres a couple of other black dudes in the dorm. One of them I know, he is very cool, the other well let's just say he doesn't seem very social. It's cool tho. I finally made it to the Wing Stopp it's right around the corner and it's off the hook. Ironically a black dude seems to run it. It's a cliché but nowadays what the hell isn't right? Classes are going good. I have a newfound respect for editing, it's very time consuming but when you finish you are proud of the work you have done. We started messing with FCPX it's no joke. The whole format changed so at first I was a little overwhelmed, but it's cool because you can always go back and fix the shit you mess up. It's best to play around with it take a few hours see what's what and so forth. It also gives you easier ways to do things, when you get down to the nitty gritty of it, I mean I am by no means an expert but I am starting to get to know my way around it.

Taking a new class called history and theory of communications and culture it's theory based. Mostly dealing with what old white guys labeled this or that and how people change over time their perceptions and so forth. It's pretty insightful if you ask me. But it's really tough to take it too serious. There's always a class debate which is good to hear people express how they feel about the topic. I usually don't say much in that one, maybe it's because I know it's mostly theory and there is really no right or wrong answer. Maybe that's a reason I should engage. But there's waaaaay too many heads up in that piece and sometimes it seems to turn into a bit of a shouting match at least that's the way I see it some of the time. I respect other people's opinion whether I agree or not its their opinion unless it's just totally dumb, there is no defending stupid shit, I don't care how you see it.


I been slacking off on the blog, yeah I know. But it's tuff to keep up with it with school work and this or that going on. Since it's warming up a bit I think I will start going out a little more. I been a bit of a recluse as of late. Just bored, and I gotta still get a flight back home for the summer it's gonna run me about $500 but it will be worth it when I touch down. NCAA basketball tournament kicks off tonight. I am anxious for that. I never missed a tourney but this season it's gonna be tuff to catch as many games as I usually catch. Kinda excited tho because who doesn't like to see an upset or two or three... but without anyone to really watch and enjoy the games with is gonna be hard. I am so used to watchin it with the fellas back home shouting at the tv screen ordering pizza and talking shit. That's really what I miss most about being at home just being able to hang out with people you can seriously relate to. I'm not saying that I can't relate to anyone here but there's some shit I would like to talk about without people getting uptight about it like some people do here. I am in no way stating that people here can't relate they can, but not about certain things. Its just a cultural divide when it comes to some stuff. Like jordans on a saturday or hearing a good rap song or telling a joke no one gets well they get it but you have to explain it down to every last detail. I also wanna talk shit without no one getting offended but this place is not there yet with that.


The other day I was on the bus and the mofos came to check tickets! This time I was ass out with no bus pass on my card no ticket no nothing! I was sitting there waiting for the dude to ask me for my shit but he never did. It was such a relief, needless to say the next day I filled up for the month. I had a discussion with my friend about how they just come on the bus block all exits and check tickets his words were "it's very Soviet" I was like yeah he gave me the scoop on how to bail on them if I should be in that situation next time.... I'm just gonna try to follow the rules. Some people back home have no regard for rules which is why they would fail big time if they came here, always trying to fight for this or that but why even resort to that? Just go with it, people say you should do this or that. My response is there ain't but 10 black people in Estonia and there is no need for me to be on anybody's radar don't put me in the system at all, and don't give them a reason try to fly straight.



Well that's it til next time. As my cousin in Cali says "be good if you can't be safe" true words to live by in many cases, maybe I will update this thing when I go on vacation next week ...then again maybe I won't(Judy Blume) have a good spring break wherever your headed even if it's just the couch to watch some NCAA tourney action. Go Cuse.

A new semester a new year a new me

So the last semester turned out pretty good grade wise(3.2). Although I do have a little bone to pick with one of my ''Professors'' about the grade for Camera work. I guess he just wants more from me. I know that not everyone in the class either directed or shot their own silent film and I am pretty sure they received higher marks than me, but I am not gonna stress it and bitch and moan, so next time I just gotta either direct or shoot something and if I can't find a group that will allow me to do these things I'm gonna do my own project like str8 up(shout out to Spike Lee&Jonze) just me if it comes down to it. I got clearance to NOT take English Comp II which is a relief cuz man I took all kinds of English classes at other schools. I just need to get the grade sent here, but being as though it is from Southern University, I think it's best if I just get the papers when I go home and bring them back with me.  I finally started paying for the bus but it's more of a paranoia thing and the fact that I am one of like 20 black people in Estonia it is best if I stay out of the system and off of the polices radar + the bus costs like 8.50€ a month and the fine is 40€, you do the math.


The new dorm is great, it has more of a college atmosphere.  I got my own room its cool.  I was talking to a classmate on the bus today which was cool because usually I see them they see me and kind of keep it moving.  I guess I should be more social or something, but I can only be me for better or worse.  This blog is cool because I can just write what I feel, that is the way I look at it but some people look too deep into what I write.  What I mean is like one of my friends went to a Q&A with a music group she really likes.  When the band was asked questions about the meanings of their songs their answers were not what she expected, they were basic answers nothing too deep which is what she was expecting.  I guess I am the same way, I just write I dont think too much about it or try to get all deep or anything, there is a time and a place for that and this blog is not it.  I seem to have developed a bit of a following based on the statistics of this thing, like there are people in Japan reading this and I know maybe one person there and I haven't seen them since I passed out in their apartment back in '03, long story.

Estonia is growing on me and I feel like as long as I stay positive and keep a good attitude everything will be good.  Or maybe that's part of my American mentality.  Some people out here can be pretty negative, or they expect negativity.  I get asked have you had any problems here or there?  The answer to that is nothing major, I mean I might get a drunk that crowds me or gets a little too close but nothing like too serious.  I gotta be smart and put myself in the right situations so I wont have to deal with that sort of thing.  Although I did kind of walk into the wrong building and I kind of knew it as soon as I was approached, I was like is this such and such?  The dude was like no, so I immediately walked out...  Tallinn seems to have its fair share of shady side streets and underground type of places minorities probably want to stay clear of.  I can't go into too much detail because maybe I am wrong, all I am saying is if it looks shady then your best bet is to stay away, or be with a local.  I made a few trips out to this section called Lasnamae and it is ok but you probably want to be going to see someone or meet someone, you don't just wanna get up in the morning and say I think I will go to Lasnamae, yeah not a good idea. Kind of like sections of Baltimore. I spent the New Year out there it was ok... But I think next year I will go to the center and hang out with the fireworks in Freedom Square.


Its a new semester and that means new Erasmus, its gonna be hard for them to fill the shoes of the Fall semester Erasmus students.  Those guys/girls were really cool.  The thing about it is some of the students got pretty close and there is nothing wrong with that but you have to realize that if they are your true friends you WILL stay in contact with them and your paths will cross again as well.  I moved around a lot as a kid so getting too close to people is not one of my strong suits(thanks a lot Mom and Dad), I mean the people I met in DK are one thing we still communicate a good amount and I have been reunited with quite a few of them, the others I know I will see sooner than later because I am here in Europe and the older we get the more opportunity for travel and stuff like that.  I just hope this new Erasmus group maybe even comes close to the last one and so on and so on.  I am learning a lot from different cultures and people are like why don't you go to this party or that party, but I mean come on I am trying to keep my grades up I can't be going here and there 4 nights a week, + after you have been in Tallinn for a little while you know what the deal is when you go to these places.  There is an Erasmus WOW party tomorrow at this place called Hoov, and its a cool place but it is way better when its a lot warmer, it is an indoor outdoor place and I know what to expect.  It's 5€ and well thats cool but man fuck that.  Add to that the fact that they will be playing Techno music the whole night and man I hate that SHIT.  I listen to it here and there The Chemical Brothers are cool but after like 20 minutes of that I am out...


Unfortunately my Macbook pretty much crashed on me all I hear is a scratching sound and it wont do anything at all(Hard Drive), its kind of annoying I really feel like throwing it out of the window but I will give it to my sister to bring back home when I see her in the spring.  Good thing I got an Iphone cuz without that I would be dead in the water.  I can't think about it too much or I will get down just gotta get another one when I get home or something I found a site that sells used ones at an affordable price and any electronic is cheaper at home than in Europe at all, unless you get a deal or something.  But they seem hard to come by.  I'm pretty psyched that the new Denzel Washington movie comes out today(Safe House) and I am pretty sure it will be at Solaris, I might go check it out tonight.  I also need to pay my rent too so I will be in hibernation for the most part this weekend, maybe I will go for a beer tonight.  The best thing tho is that the Giants won the Superbowl and the computer worked that night so that is a good thing.  I am still pretty happy about that one and that Asian kid Jeremy Lin is representing for the Knicks this week so far, we will see if he can keep it going.



Its been awhile since I wrote anything, like a month. Sorry guys I was busy being MC SQUARED.  That was fun.  Although to be honest I was a little conflicted at times at how to approach the character, I did not want to be too over the top or too coonish with it, like I gotta maintain who I am as a person a lot of it was fake but a good amount was real. I had to bring both together and get some sort of point across when it came time to take the stage I was a bit weirded out like WTF am I doing here.  At the same time I did not wanna disrespect rap to a certain extent because it is something I love, even though a lot of the stuff coming out today is str8 garbage, and the styles are a bit too over the top like how low do you guys need to wear your pants saggin(saggin spelled backwards is...)and what you wear and drive does not make you who you are, just be yourself however fucked up and insecure that may be no matter what society says or what TV shows you watch or what your parents told you at some point you need to do your own thing.


Until next time, safe travels wherever that may be.

So that was christmas

I had a good holiday I guess. I went to McDonalds and got my grub on for a lil bit. Other than that I watched some more Goodfellas and just chilled in my room. The day after I went to a lil Christmas party dinner and had some typical Estonian Christmas food. Blood sausages, sauerkraut, potatoes some jellied pork type of thing(not a fan) and I made some Mac and cheese to give the food some American flavor. There were a few Hungarians there they brought some deserts I was so full I only tried the chocolate balls with coconut on the outside and a cherry in the middle. It was pretty good but a lil too rich on the chocolate if you ask me.



New years is coming up and I think it should be a good one. As for the NyE party there are a few on deck but choosing which one to go to has never been my strong suit. I mean the night of the year 2000 we kicked some windows out at some school in Dundalk. Later that night there was some guys getting into it over girls and then someone wanted to fight over it so yeah that was a pretty bad NYE. After that year I think I watched on MTV for like the next two yeas then it just got wack. Since about 2005(I saw the ball drop in times square that night) I been hanging with friends from high school and that is always a blast. If I was at home there is a good chance I would be doing that. But I'm not so Tallinn it is. There is a classmate who is having a party seems like a good idea, but I move into a new dorm on new years day so I don't know if I want to be out that late. But either way I will prolly be out til the first bus anyway.

I got a list of new year resolutions that need to be resolved. I'll try my hand at learning a new language more than likely it will be Spanish besides I can use it when I get back to the states. Stop smoking as much as I do well I already have done that since I have been here is Estonia... Work my ass off and get a D7000(insider term) and stop eating out as much. These resolutions seem more attainable than ones I have had in the past. Given my location and lack of outside distraction I should do just fine. Maybe even try and find "The One" if I haven't already ;) but I really should at least consider settling down with something steady hell all of my friends have anyway. But like my grandfather said "everything you do, do it for yourself you are your own person so no one can tell you what you should or shouldn't do it's in your hands".

I read on another blogging site some lady bitching about this or thatcand giving awards out to people and things she wishes for next year so here is mine:


Best decision of the year: moving to Tallinn

Worst decision of the year: moving to Tallinn

Best album: WTH Jay and yeezy say what you want the shit was hot!

Best movie of the year: Drive

Worst movie of the year: melancholia
just way too depressing for my tastes

Best tv show: Breaking bad Walt is turning into Tony Soprano season after season the audience will lose sympathy for him just as they did T


Best advice for travelers: never book a flight when your high I had a 9hour layover in Berlin...also take travelers checks no cashiers checks.


Favorite bar/pub: Embassy just sit back and let the rap music take over you.


Wish for 2012: Knicks to win it all.

Another wish for 2012: cherish everything when I get back to the states we don't know how good we have it til we go somewhere else.


Hope everybody has a happy new year and oh yeah happy kwanza it's the 3rd day Umoja or kujichagulia, I can't remember what the third day is maybe my mom can give me a comment or something, she is probably shaking her head but we haven't celebrated it since high school so give me a break.

Christmas is always right around the corner

Yeah I'm back at it. Feeling good about the new year.  Everything has worked out here this far, I guess if I stay positive things should stay positive as well. I have been working on film projects here in Tallinn in some sort of capacity.  The sad thing is that a good amount of Erasmus students will be going home, and whether or not I see them again will remain to be seen until I actually do see them again.  I been watching a lot of movies lately on my mac.  I'm glad the computer is working up to full speed it makes me feel better about doing my work.  I am still at the G4S dormitory and its getting on my nerves.  Its just so far from everything and having a room mate in that small room is not such a good idea.  I found another dorm so hopefully I will relocate in the near future.  On a promotional note for the G4S Dormitory:  If you like regulations and isolation from the city center then the G4S dormitory is for you, BTW the cab drivers in Tallinn for the most part have never heard of Marsi St.  Or at least that is what they tell me when I try to get a cab.



It finally started snowing here this week, its nice, but Estonians think that I will get tired of it real soon.  I think they might be right because it snowed off and on for about 2 days in a row.  In the morning its real cold and that can crush your motivation to go to classes early in the morning.  Its a challenge some days but for the most part I have been making some sort of effort to get to class, if not on time then just getting there is considered an accomplishment, I know I am thinking of relocating but I think it will all be worth it.  I need a real dormitory atmosphere like the one at Southern University, well let me take that back the dorms on the yard are not where you want to be.  Small, run down and in some cases its like being in the 3rd world bathroom or something at least that is the way it was when I was there any of my old SU people will remember ''Hotel Lotti'' and the infamous Jones Hall which was in some ways like a housing project, at the same time anything you needed was in Jones Hall- 403B had that fire so did 101D and a slew of other rooms... Names will be protected.


On another note the holidays are here and it seems like the weeks are flying by.  I guess that is a good thing because that means that I am keeping busy and at the same time having a good time.  There are a bunch of parties and it seems like I will be attending my fair share of them, I gotta see the Erasmus students again before they roll out for good.  I have had a good semester, it being my first I can say that it has been the best of any first semester at any school I have ever been too.  That is a bold statement which many will dispute considering my list of previous institutions of higher education.  I guess the best thing is the isolation from people from home.  Not having to work and keeping things in a good perspective also have something to do with it.  That and the fact that I dont have to hear peoples problems from back home unless its somebody bitching about something on facebook. I came here to get away from all that and its working out so far.  I hope I can keep this momentum going for the next 3 years.



I had a conference with an American teacher about English composition.  My desire is there but something is making me not care.  I think its the fact that I have taken about 3 english related classes before coming to this school and being an American and having to take the class again seems like a slap in the face! I am going to request not to take it next semester and take a more beneficial class of Creative Writing next semester I hope they go for it if not fuck it I will sit through more of the same and like it.  I watched The Maltese Falcon the other day and I gotta tell you it never gets old.  I didn't really appreciate it when my father used to have me watch it with him years ago, but now I see how good of a movie it is.  I am gonna close this one off cuz there are a bunch of dudes trying to figure out the dubbing machine in the lab right over my shoulder.  To all the people reading this and enjoying it I will try to post a little more, just so you guys can have some shit to read in your spare time.  For the most part the feedback has been positive and I am sure there will be more parties to report on.  I am trying not to get too personal cuz I know people wanna know a little more and sometimes its for the better sometimes its for the worst.