Its been awhile since my last post, sorry to keep you guys waiting, but there has been a lot going on. The workload of classes has increased and I haven't had time to post and blog the way I want to. I kind of relocated then relocated again back to my old stomping grounds of the G4S dormitory but all the while I have been having fun doing it. I have had a shit load of essays to write about this or that or the other, basketball practice has gotten more and more intense and the school year is really getting underway, add to that an Estonian Residence application and well you see where I am going with this. I haven't really been out and about since all this work has begun to take its toll. I been going out tho. Even if its just once a week. Preferably to Embassy Pub but hey what can I say they play Rap music constantly the drinks are reasonably priced and they have nice couches, just dont put your feet up on the couches because they will definitely tell you to take them off...
I been taking the public transportation more often than before and its not so bad. Unless theres a drunk on there offering you a sip of their beer. It's like come on guy I dont want to drink after you or just about anyone else for that matter. The race question always comes up and well I deal with it the best way I can, some times I have Sheila moments where I'm just like ''Is that real?'' someone sits down next to you and says nigger and you're like really? But I now know that that is the word for black here and its time to kind of get over it but I really can't. My French friend asked me ''do you always see things in black and white'' and I'm like ''yeah'' but that's just how I was raised, if these guys came to the states and saw who I hang out with and conversate with on a daily basis they might understand why. Sometimes I get a little too racy with it but I bite my tounge and think like Jay-Z ''I'm from out of town dog, what you trying to get into'', they ask me ''Do you miss home?'' and the answer to that is HELL YEAH! But I realize that if I keep thinking about it then that is where I am going to go-- right back home, some want to see me go they don't say it but I can tell, theres no explanation for it you just can. Luckily there is basketball to be played to get my mind off things for a lil while however long that may be.
I had a disturbing dream about my ex gf and well that shit can throw you off of your sleep game for the whole night. I just hope she's ok, and I'll leave it at that, no need to talk about what haunts me when it comes to her, frustration about things in the past can bring the worst out in you so I try not to dwell on them or her for that matter. A message to my classmates who seem to be reading this blog, posts on Facebook are not meant to be taken too serious, its just me venting on certain things good and bad and unfortunately the bad outweigh the good. Bottom line is that we want what we want and will do whatever it takes to get it, in this case its the coveted bachelors degree in the field of AV media, just having the paper makes me a bit more marketable and will eventually open doors that were closed before.
Back to going out, well there are people that are starting to see me around town here and there but its not hard to stick out when you're the only black guy on the bus most of the time, last weekend there were 3 of us on a bus and I was like ohhhh shit! I see them they see me and what happens next is the International black guy acknowledgment of the head nod, peace sign or wave. It makes me feel a lil more comfortable when there is a few of us in a small space I got their back and hopefully they have mine if anything jumps off. In this place put egos to the side and come together for the greater good, it might just mean we save each others lives if it comes down to it. The guys on the busses with their pretty girlfriends who like to starte at me or whatever, hey she's just curious, but I always keep in mind that the hotter she is the hotter her problems are and just keep it moving, but I have a feeling that this situation may come to a head.
I been watching GOODFELLAS a lot lately its so good, but how many times can you watch Tommy get shot... Everytime I watch it I think wow what a life no matter what was real and what was changed, I can't get over the life they lived and some still live today. Henry was a rat and that sucks but the movie is timeless. It will always be a favorite of mine no matter what. My friend from Latvia came up last weekend and when I went back to the flat he was watching it on the computer, I have my favorite parts and I always see something funny or even disturbing when I watch it. Being here and watching movies with people from Europe I begin to see how some things just do not translate, it can get annoying when people ask what does this or that mean but for the most part its easy for me to explain so I don't mind it. The thing is that being here for however long I will be here will put me out of the loop back home so there will be jokes that I wont get.
Other than that its all good living in the hood. And can't nothing stop your boy from getting what I came here to get. Life is like a box of chocolates and here in Estonia you never know what your gonna get...
BTW first game of the basketball season is on Wednesday at 9pm at Tallinn University gym, wish us luck BFM Cable Guys are gonna do some damage I'm just glad I will be a part of it.
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